Terry Mauro from www.about.com has written one of the best articles that
    I've found regarding trying to decide if there is or isn't a problem with your
    child.

    Getting a Diagnosis: The First Step Toward Helping Your Child

    A diagnosis doesn't change your child, it explains your child. It may be scary
    or hard to accept, but the right diagnosis can lead you to information,
    therapy, technology and services that can greatly improve the quality of life
    for your child and your family. Here's how to find the answers you need.

    1. Step 1: Take Notes
    2. Step 2: Talk to Your Pediatrician
    3. Step 3: Do Your Research
    4. Step 4: Consult With Specialists
    5. Step 5: Keep Seeking Answers

    Step 1: Take Notes

    Become the foremost researcher on your child, examining your subject in a
    variety of different environments and documenting all irregularities. If your
    child has recurring odd actions that alarm you, keep a diary of what, when and
    how long. If your child has emotional breakdowns or explosions, keep a chart
    to see if you can identify what sets them off. You want to be able to
    specifically document your concerns so that doctors have the most accurate
    idea of what's going on and can make the most assured steps toward a
    diagnosis.


    Step 2: Talk to Your Pediatrician

    Chances are, your health insurer will require you to go through your
    pediatrician before tests and specialist visits anyway. But it's just as well,
    because your child's regular doctor will likely have useful insights and advice
    to give you. While you're the ultimate expert in your child, the pediatrician is
    probably the medical professional who knows your child best -- certainly
    better than the specialists who will pop in for a short time, look at one aspect
    of your child's life, and see you again in a year. A good pediatrician with
    whom you have a comfortable rapport is a helpful person to have filtering all
    those reports and test results and guiding you as to what to do about them.

    Step 3: Do Your Research

    If your pediatrician shares your concerns, you may be referred on to a
    specialist for further questioning, examining, and testing. You'll want to do
    that immediately, but the specialist's schedule may not cooperate; months-long
    waits are not uncommon. Fill the time by doing some research about your own
    and your pediatrician's suspicions. You may have done a little research
    before, but now instead of looking for general possibilities, you'll want to
    look into the specific diagnosis or diagnoses being investigated. This flurry of
    fact-digging has two good effects: It makes you more prepared to speak to
    the specialist, and it passes all that interminable time.

    Step 4: Consult With Specialists

    You've talked with the pediatrician. You've taken your notes and done your
    research, and now you're meeting with the big kahuna who can actually give
    you answers as to what's going on with your child. That's what you hope for,
    anyway. Specialists may do detailed examinations, order extensive and
    expensive tests, and present you with a diagnosis and a prognosis. Or they may
    give your child a cursory look, make some vague pronouncements, and send you
    scurrying to the next intimidating professional. If you're prepared -- with
    research and questions and specific observations about your child -- you may
    be able to get enough of an answer to run with, even if a specific diagnosis is
    elusive.

    Step 5: Keep Seeking Answers

    A diagnosis is in many ways the start of the story. It may get fine-tuned as
    your child grows and develops. It may turn out to be inexact or flat-out
    inaccurate. Doctors may wind up re-classifying children like yours, eliminating
    one diagnosis or moving a block of children over to another one. Seek a
    diagnosis now, but don't stop seeking information. With your focus on one
    child and one disability, you may be able to keep up on current research and
    practices better than your doctor. Read the news, surf the Net, network with
    other parents, and collaborate with the professionals in your child's life. Be
    your own specialist.
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